Not Enough to Hurt Me
by Vanishingdarkness
Summary: Rukia found herself always going back to her comforter, knowing she had a boyfriend. oneshot but not sure for the distant future if I have time.


This is just one of my old stories before Moonlight Encounter. I'm putting these while my Writers block goes away um, Enjoy!

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I found out that he was not always the Ice prince everyone nicknamed him as. He would smile, talk gently, look at you with honest eyes that would say he'd listen to whatever it was you'd have to say. They were eyes that showed understanding, yet be young and shy in the sweetest way. It was those teal eyes that stayed vivid in my memory.

It always ended, that with him in my thoughts, my feet would automatically take me to his office. I knew that it was wrong to depend on his words to bring me comfort. I knew it was wrong to blush at the promise he had kept with me to stay in first name basis after we got tired of those long names of captain Hitsugaya and Ms. Kuchiki. But what else could I do, my boyfriend would fight endlessly with Ichigo to see who could beat who in every passing day. If we had time to spare all he wanted was to make out. Renji was never the gentle type, he'd hold me till it hurt, as if proving himself he had me. I stayed with him, because I felt there was something still there, the weakest fire perhaps.

A fire...that was so close to vanishing, when a kiss was stolen from me. His lips were cold despite the hot weather outside; the thoughts behind it were sincere despite that cold. It was a cold feeling I grew to love...and hate. Hate because I could still feel the sensation I felt that day no matter how far away I got from him or how many days passed. Love because when I couldn't see him, that memory would always replay in my mind, bringing some strange comfort. I chose not see him; he chose not to respect that. It was night, but to not distinguish him would have been difficult. His white hair shown elegantly as he stood by my bedroom window

"W-why" was the only word that I could say. He had caught me crying, and the reason was right in front of me

"Because you never came back to visit" He didn't move from where he stood

"You know why, what you did was wrong, you know I have a boyfriend To-" My heart received a painful throb, his name felt like a sin. I looked up, holding my tears back as best as I could. He was there, sitting on my bed, with his expression mixed with anger and frustration. his eyes were searching for something in my face as he spoke in a low voice

"do you really love him?" I was scared of even my own answer

"I-it's none of your business" I tried to cover my face but he held my hands by the wrist, his face still unchanged

"It became part of by business when you started trusting me with your feelings. The moment when you sat in front of me in the office and said you wanted happiness" I couldn't bare the way he looked at me

"Please...stop" I noticed that my hands were now in his, but it was through feeling, for my eyes were too blurry.

"Okay, I'll stop talking" would he give up that easily? I feel those cold lips again. I go in shock, I couldn't stop that sensation rise within me once more. the sensation of sweetness and gentleness, of support and the need for more. I tried to pull away but that only pulled us down

"Stop please! Renji-"

"Who is Renji" I blink repeatedly to clear my eyes if for just a second. That phrase was not all wrong, Renji and I hardly talked, how could could I talk back to that. "I love you Rukia". His face was not teasing or proud, it looked calm, the frown I'd seen earlier was gone from his features and only a small smile remained

"I-" he pressed down again. The little fire I kept lit for as long as I could felt like it was for nothing. Trifling ashes were scurried away by a new wind to make it clear that there was nothing really there. He squeezed my hand delicately then all together he was gone. I sit up and look around despite the dizziness "Toshiro?" he was sitting on the window sill with his gaze still on me

"I want to keep kissing you, but I want to do that knowing you are mine and not someone else's" It was a hint of sadness I heard from his voice I was sure of it. "I'll be waiting in my office tomorrow and hope you come so we can talk like we always did" he leaped off without another word. Was there ever confusion on how I felt? I thought it was stupid now, how could I choose someone other than Toshiro?

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"Yes Rangiku, to Captain Kuchiki and Captain Ukitake"

"Okay!"

"Wait what time is it?"

"Seven thirty" I entered slowly

"Hello" his voice was serious and unchanged I pouted at his answer

"Are you even happy I came?"

"I knew you'd come" his blunt answer made me laugh. I knew he had his worries on me coming

"You're a confident one" he chuckled and came to my side

"Are you done with your duties for the day?"

"Yes, but I mostly came for one reason" I looked up shyly, he had grown, the top of my head reached his eyes.

"And that is?"

"Well...y-you can kiss me now, hopefully saying that can clue you in" I closed my eyes and wondered if he could hear my heart. It was too much work to keep my eyes open from being so nervous. He got closer; his breath on my eyes sent a shiver through me. It's overwhelming when you know what's going to happen next, and even more when you get something better than what you expected. My hands were numbly reaching for his hair but he parted as soon I did "hm. better" It was, I could give him everything I had without restraint. He smiled, hugging me tightly, not enough to hurt me. It was comfortable and soothing.

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Ta-dah hope you enjoyed and reviewed


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